Many single men and women are having a difficult time meeting the right person. This is mainly because in the process of dating, they often meet people who do not share the same goals and intentions as they do. For instance, while looking for a long time partner to share a life with, you may meet a lot of people in the dating pool who are just looking for a quick hookup.
The process of dating and constantly meeting the wrong person may be quite discouraging but this does not mean that you should give up. Meeting the right person takes a significant amount of time and with enough guidance, the process will be easier and much more enjoyable. Here are some tips to help you meet the right person and build a meaningful, long lasting relationship.
Identify Your Barriers to Finding Love
Obstacles to finding love can either be self-inflicted or caused by your external environment. Some of the self-inflicted barriers to love include convincing yourself that there are no more good people left, an unhealthy work-life balance and high expectations. External factors include emotional baggage caused by previous relationships and growing up in abusive environments.
After identifying your barriers, act on them. Understand that everything that happened due to your external environment is not your fault and that you are a uniquely independent person capable of finding love with the right person. Self-inflicted barriers require more work. It involves creating time to balance your life, understanding everything that is wrong with your perceptions and being intentional about finding love.
Re-evaluate External Misconceptions about Love and Dating
There are a lot of misconceptions being shared about finding love and dating. Some of them include; Happiness can only be achieved when you are in a relationship, Instant attraction means you should pursue the relationship, women are more emotional than men, true love is constant and you can change someone you love.
All these statements are misleading. To dispel some of them, Instant attraction does not necessary mean lasting love. Emotions change over time and sometimes people with the weakest instant connections become lovers as they spend time together. Another fact is that love is not static. Hormones and spontaneous life situations can change how we feel from time to time but this does not mean the relationship is doomed.
Know your Expectations about Finding Love
When looking for love, sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of the kind of person we would like to be in a relationship with. These expectations are often based on what we have been exposed to through our friends, family and TV entertainment. This may make you perceive your potential partner as inadequate. Identifying your needs vs unrealistic wants would be a good way to start.
Gain Courage and Start Dating
When there are too many mental obstacles keeping you from finding love, sometimes it is difficult to take the leap and start dating. Once you get rid of some of the barriers, identify ways in which you would like to meet someone. Some people enjoy online dating while others prefer to be introduced to potential partners by friends and relatives. Pick whatever works for you and start the journey.
Keep Life in Perspective
One of the most challenging moments during dating is reminding yourself that there are other things that are equally or more important than pursuit of romantic relationships. Carry on with life and pursue your dreams as you look for love. Also remember not to be fooled by first impressions and that everyone has flaws, including yourself.
Build a Connection
Genuine connections are important in romantic relationships. Listening, paying attention and genuinely showing interest will help build a long lasting connection. One way to successfully pay attention is to not focus on your thoughts and being present every time you get to meet your potential partner.
Prioritize Having Fun
During the dating process, there are moments that may present a lot of pressure. This mainly occurs when you approach dating as a job or mission that involves packaging yourself to be accepted by others. Just keep being you and involve yourself in activities that you enjoy then you will meet like-minded people in those environments.
Be Graceful about Rejection
Rejection is inevitable. At some point in life, you will definitely experience it. Be open to the possibilities of being rejected and handle it like something normal in life. Let it not inspire any form of anger towards people or keep you from searching for love. Acknowledge your feelings and move forward.
Watch Out for Red Flags
Red Flags act as warning signs to show that the relationship is probably not going to last. It is important to trust your instincts when you notice that something is not right about your potential partner. Some of the red flags include alcohol dependency, hostility, lack of communication, controlling behavior and lack of commitment.
Learn to Trust
Previous relationship experiences may create trust issues in many people. You may fear being let down, betrayed or even being vulnerable around another person. Trusting people will require a lot of effort and sometimes, you may need the help of a therapist or support group. Knowing that every person and experience is different is the first step in trusting again.
Nurture the Relationship
Meeting the right person does not guarantee that the relationship will last forever. You need to make an effort to move from dating to a long lasting meaningful relationship. This requires a lot of nurturing and involves open communication, fair conflict resolution, investing in each other and being open minded, especially with change.
Finding love can be such a wonderful experience but never get into a relationship for the fear of being lonely. Many people who do this meet the wrong type of people and end up with terrible life experiences. It is better to be patient in this journey than rushing into anything. Build your life, have fun and pursue your dreams while at it.